Ten Shoes You Should Absolutely Under No Circumstances Ever Wear Again: Or Else

Lately I've began to lose religion and gain spirituality. And this karma crap is really eating me up, so I feel that I must be honest with you about the shoes that you may be wearing right now. They're ugly. That's right. They were never in style. We've all been laughing at you for years. If you own the following shoes, you should take them off now and burn them:

1. Birkenstocks (aka German shoes)

2. Vibrams (aka barefeet shoes)

3. Chuntaritos (aka Santa's helper boots)

4. Crocs (aka come out of the closet alreadys)

5. Timberlands (aka duck feet)

6. Loafers (aka put some damn socks ons)

7. Flats (aka ballerina Mary Janes)

8. Foams (aka uglies)

9. Gladiators (aka the other Olsen sister)

10. Uggs (aka Eskimo boots)